Monday 27 December 2010

"All i want for Christmas is my two back teeth."

Someone once told me that there are three parts to your life.The first: You believe in Father Christmas.
The second: You don’t believe in Father Christmas.
The third: You ARE Father Christmas.

I was out with my daughter the other day, Christmas shopping – and to be honest it was pretty exciting; I had been alone in the middle of the forest for several days and she was my first human contact.

We listened to music in the car at a volume that caused most of the other drivers to swerve as we approached, we sang along even louder and we drove fast. Then she fell asleep.

I woke her up in the multi story car-park, and we drove all the way to the top just to feel the swing of the spiral ramps, parked on the roof and then hit the shops.

I asked if she wanted to shop alone or with, she replied with and I was honoured.

We had a pizza in the market at the bottom of the car park and then wandered, looking in windows, sometimes going in, sometimes buying something and then I suggested that if she wanted to get something special for anyone then she had better say where she wanted to go as my technique is similar to Neolithic hunting and gathering.

Besides I only had twenty euro left.

She took me to a perfume shop.

I wouldn’t normally dare to enter such a place, beautiful women rubbing sensual oil into my wrist usually leaves me in a mess and besides its impossible to breath in there even if the hostesses don’t take the direct method.

My daughter produced a list!

Names, almost alphabetically arranged, and suggestions next to each name.

I was impressed, even though my own name was not on there.

I never expect my name to be on a person’s Christmas shopping list but it would be kinda nice if it were.

Then she REALLY surprised me.

“What do you want for Christmas?”

It wasn’t just the transition from young innocent believer of chimney visits after midnight to mature(ish) teenager thinking of other people

Besides, I thought everyone knew me and what I like, but it turns out not to be the case.

Last year I said what I wanted then told everyone not to get it because it was too expensive and so they didn’t.

That’ll teach me!

This year I’d still like it, but it’s still too expensive.

What I like are surprises that I like, and it’s really hard to be surprised in this way if you have to tell people what you would like.

But how will they know if I don’t tell them, if it is not – as I believed - obvious.

Surely they read my blog?

Isn’t it clear what I like and what I hate?

Apparently the answer to both these questions are no.


Now that Christmas is over and I can’t be accused of begging I have decided to jot down some ideas for anyone to reference.

A single lens reflex digital camera, with high zoom capability, wide angle features, manual shutter control, no video but able to go macro.

2. No feeling of guilt about how much such a thing costs.
3. A weekend in Rome.
4. A bag for work that isn’t black, isn’t too garish, but which is cool and different yet discrete.
5. A bit more hair on my head.
6. Facebook to collapse.
7. Twitter to disappear.
8. A bus service in the village.
9. A small fisherman’s hut on a west facing coast.
10. Any book I haven’ read by Neil Gaiman, Paul Auster or Raymond Chandler.
11. The Dvd set of the work of Pierre Etaix.
12. My dad’s wash and shave bag.
13. A copy of Steinbeck’s Sweet Thursday.
14. Jack Jhonson’s yet to be released next album (I have his latest).
15. A trip to Iceland to see the Northern lights sitting in a hot spring.
16. A return to Hot Spring Cove, Vancouver.
17. A week in a cottage in the Hebrides.
18. A tour of the Hebrides.
19. The Tardis.
20. A Christmas shopping trip with my daughter next year.

Hey! You have only got 5 more days to complete the The Bitsnbobs Quiz of the Year. (click there) and have a chance to win the GRAND PRIZE!!!


Anne said...

Sorry, Chris, I'm afraid I really enjoy your blog, but don't know it in such detail ;-) Actually, I was pretty good at the local pub quiz this year all because of my online writing job, .... which I actually quit today. Feel my neurons have dumbed down to 3-2-1-bingo mode, and need to get back to thinking things through properly. Reading long and challenging books. Not sure what to do about my blog. Might use it to review the books I read.

popps said...

Anne, what are you saying? That the Quiz of the year is too hard?
No, no, no, it's easy and remember creative answers count double.
You above anyone else really need this year's big prize.
I'm rooting for you!!!