Saturday 6 April 2024

Seven versus Three.

What I like about my new car.


1) It’s blue.

2) The door opens when you try to open it.

3) The passenger side window opens when a warm summer’s day invites it to be open.

4) All of the windows are manual.

5) I can’t see the bonnet when I drive, it’s like driving a wide angled screen.

6) It has a secret compartment.

7) I no longer have a number plate that is on the police list of trouble makers.


What I don’t like about my new car.

1)   It’s not new, except to me.

2)   The pockets on the door where you can stuff things are a bit small.

3)   I don’t know what police register the number plate is on.


On the balance, I’d say that’s pretty good.

Monday 25 March 2024

An Entirely Separate kettle of Fish

To metavate– a verb you might not have come across recently.

It means to replicate the self by being forcibly tapped on the head in the rain.

It’s not painless, the results are impressive.

It’s probably why teachers, back in the days when they were likely to tap students on the head, avoided doing so outside and in the rain.

Without the rain, metavationwould not occur which accounts for the prevalence of head tapping teachers during the 1950s and 60s.

The enthusiasm for head tapping among the teaching profession disappeared once physical abuse was discouraged .

Self-metavationis difficult to achieve, but since it leads to self-replication anway , it is sufficient to have a friend nearby to help.

Help that can be reciprocated.

That’s probably all you need to know about the practice, except that it is entirely harmless and only lasts the length of a night at most.