Bob, a cat called Tricks and some Mackerel.

Cologne/Feb 2020

Driiiing, driiiiing, driiiing, dri….

Hello. BitsnBobs, the bits with the bobs. How can i help you?

Hi.

Bob*! How are you? I thought you were dead!

Very funny, very funny. Droll. I could say the same you know. How’s tricks?

Tricks* the cat? Lying in the sun, dreaming of mice. What’s up?

I’ve been going through the archives…

Hope so, that is your job.

Job! Since when? I’m doing this for love!

Never for money, always for love, it’s how it should be.

I could resign you know.

You can’t resign if it isn’t your job.

Fair point.

How are the Twins*?

Sleeping, always sleeping, I’m the only one doing any work around here.

Work? So it is a job?

Then I should get paid.

Well, funny you should mention that – i was just looking into technical unemployment.

Good I rang then.

Fortuitous. How’s the Quarantine going?

It’s only day two, quiet. I thought I could catch up with the archives, maybe reorganise them.

Alphabetically?

Emotionally.

Interesting.

It’ll take a while, and that’s why I’m phoning.

Ok?

‘Cause I’ve found something.

Yes?

And if wouldn’t know where to put it alphabetically let alone emotionally.

What is it?

A poem.

Read it, we could put it here.

Ok. Ready?

Ready.

Down at the bottom of the beautiful blue sea

Us Mackerel are happy, swimming wild and free.

We just don’t want to swallow any old bent hook,

And we certainly don’t fancy you becoming our cook.

We’re watching you, up there all alone

Sitting with your rod on a nice dry stone.

Leave us to swim.  

Let us keep our fins

Vegetarianism is boring, that maybe

But try heading to the café

For scones, jam and cream.

Thanks bob, we’ll publish it, where did you find it?

In the pages of a book.

Which book?

One with a hole in it.

The Holey* book, you’ve found it!

You know about it?

It’s the Grail.

What should I do with it?

Go through it with a fine tooth comb let me know what else you find.

Ok, I’ll ring again.

It’s Spring again here too.

No, I said I’ll ring again.

Oh, great, take care.

You too.

Bye.

Bye.

* Bob- Official Archivist of BitsnBobs.

* Tricks - aka Trix - Bob's cat - Bob left it here in the office by mistake last time he visited. likes to sleep in a box.

*Holey/Holy (a pun)