Thursday, 6 August 2015

The Desk - A Horror story in 11 parts (2) the grace of..


Hold this.

Ah! I’ve been looking for that.

What is it?

A note of interesting idioms and expressions created by someone who cant speak English but thinks that they can.

Can you give us an example?

The pros outlook the cons.

Nice. Now, where would be a good place to put it?

On the desk?

What desk? That’s what we’re trying to find!

How about on the notice board?

Great. Er, why is there a squash ball on the desk, do you play squash?

I haven’t for a very long time but I was once at the top of the school squash ladder.

Is that why the ball is on the perhaps-it's-here-somewhere -desk?

No, it’s there because it was in the bag.

Which bag?

Harry’s bag.

Is Harry here?

No, he’s in London, or maybe Scandanavia.

But his bag’s here?


And his squash ball.


So where’s his bag?

Possibly in this house somewhere.

Could we put the ball back into it?

We could, but someone was using the bag, which is why the ball is on my desk; I think they thought it was mine. Let’s put it in the alcove under the bird’s nest.

Let’s put it in the nest.

We’ll forget it.

Forget what?

The ball.

Which ball?

The squ…. Ah, ok, the old ‘snap my fingers and you’ll forget the book joke?”

Which book?

See, you’ve forgotten it already. Hey, there’s a game here.

Team Work.

Can we put it on the pile of games under the stairs in the cupboard under the stairs that isn’t?

Yes. By the way, did you have a cupboard under the stairs when you were a kid; it was my favourite place to play.

Me too, but I got locked in once – the door had a one-way catch on it.

What happened?

I screamed. My sister saved me.

MY sister would have ignored the screams…….

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