On Sunday morning at half past six the
Bitsnbobs phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s Bob.”
“Bob?”
“In Scotland.”
“Scotland?”
“With the boxes, in the railway
cartridges.”
“Boxes? Railway cartridges?”
“Have you just woken up?”
“I have.”
“Would you like me to ring back?”
“No, I’d like a glass of fresh squeezed
orange juice and a warm croissant with apricot jam.”
“Sorry, nae can do.”
“Nae?”
“I’m from Scotland, I’m Bob, with the boxes
in the railway carridges-look, click on this link.”
I don’t know how he sent a link through the
phone, but I clicked on it, read it and it all came flooding back.
“Ah! Bob! How are the boxes? How is
Scotland? What were they thinking??!!!! A fantastic opportunity to start a new
country and they voted against it, I don’t understand.”
“Yeah, weird, bunch of Ostrich’s if you ask
me.”
“Ostriches?”
“Aye, now, the reason I’m ringing is that I
found the letterbox.”
“Letterbox?”
“Aye, letterbox, Bitsnbobs has a
letterbox.”
“It does?”
“Aye it do.”
“You ate what?”
“What?”
“You just said - I ate doo.”
“Nae, I never touch the stuff. What d’ya
wan’ me t’do wit’ the letters?”
“Letters?”
“Aye, them in the box?”
“Is this the same box as the boxes, or the
letterbox?”
“The letter box.”
“Is it a real letterbox then, with letters
and stamps and all?”
“Aye”
“I didn’t know we had one. Could you read
them out.”
“Aye , I could.”
And he did.
The first one was from a someone who hadn’t
signed a name and it said –‘I’ve been reading your blog….’
A reader! We have a reader!
It went on – ‘it’s good.”
Nice, I like this person.
Then they said – “Absurd.”
Is that good? Is it a compliment? I can’t
tell.
I asked Bob.
“I’m not qualified.”
“Oh.”
“Do you want me to read another?”
“ Are there enough to fill a whole month?”
“Probably not.”
“Don’t bother then. Is it snowing?”
“Not yet.”
“How are the boxes?”
“Nice. Well organised. Chaotically.”
My kind of archive.
“Bye.”
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