A First time among the cactus? (cacti etc)
Here you go!
Cactus to the left, me to the right.
Ok, ok, I hear you, a bit phallic! But you know what?
I’m male!
Don’t have a beard no more though.
Don’t have sex either but that may be unrelated!
So, there I was, somewhere in Mexico, first time, I saw the cactus in the distance and thought – wow.
I had seen a cactus in Orpington, the town in S.E. London where I grew up – my Uncle had given me a cactus garden in a small bowl that I set on the window sill above the radiator figuring that that would be a desert environment – but when I saw this one I knew I had to have a photo.
I set off.
I left the beach.
I hit scrubland.
I entered the desert.
I left Orpington and hope way, way behind.
I was young, god- look how thin I was!
I strode.
The desert loomed.
I shrank.
I walked.
The desert blazed.
I hesitated.
What’s that?
Things were scurrying out of my path.
I walked onward.
They scurried some more.
I walked faster.
They scurried faster.
There were thousands of them!
They scurried faster.
I ran!
I caught them.
Scorpions!!!!
In Orpington I had seen Fu Manchu movies too!
Torture by scorpions!
I turned back, these things will kill you!
Hang on…
They are scurrying!
They’re scared!
So I got a photo of me and a cactus.
Someone else took it.
Obviously.
I’ll tell you about her tomorrow.
Obviously.
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