A First Time Among the Cacti.

A First time among the cactus? (cacti etc)

Here you go!

Cactus to the left, me to the right.

Ok, ok, I hear you, a bit phallic! But you know what?

I’m male!

Don’t have a beard no more though.

Don’t have sex either but that may be unrelated!

So, there I was, somewhere in Mexico, first time, I saw the cactus in the distance and thought – wow.

I had seen a cactus in Orpington, the town in S.E. London where I grew up – my Uncle had given me a cactus garden in a small bowl that I set on the window sill above the radiator figuring that that would be a desert environment – but when I saw this one I knew I had to have a photo.

I set off.

I left the beach.

I hit scrubland.

I entered the desert.

I left Orpington and hope way, way behind.

I was young, god- look how thin I was!

I strode.

The desert loomed.

I shrank.

I walked.

The desert blazed.

I hesitated.

What’s that?

Things were scurrying out of my path.

I walked onward.

They scurried some more.

I walked faster.

They scurried faster.

There were thousands of them!

They scurried faster.

I ran!

I caught them.

Scorpions!!!!

In Orpington I had seen Fu Manchu movies too!

Torture by scorpions!

I turned back, these things will kill you!

Hang on…

They are scurrying!

They’re scared!

So I got a photo of me and a cactus.

Someone else took it.

Obviously.

I’ll tell you about her tomorrow.

Obviously.