Sunday, 8 August 2010

Apparition or technology? (THE DIGESTIVE AUG 2-8)

Stuff interrupted normal publication of this week’s Digestive – the bitsnbobs weekly digest published every Sunday – apologies are extended to all subscribers amidst continued rumours of industrial unrest.

A spokesperson was unavailable for comment.

On a brighter note though this weeks edition (late) comes with a FREE GIFT – (if you missed it earlier); A FREE CHOCOLATE BROWNIE!!

Ok, you actually have to make it yourself – bitsnbobs just gives you the recipe – but the effort is digestively worthwhile. Local youths were encouraged to repeat their earlier efforts and once again in a few days they reduced the kitchen to a battlefield of cocoa powder and butter smudges.

The tray full of symmetrical brownies that issued from the chaos lasted one evening.

The same evening Michael arrived after a long drive, a small but annoying accident at a peage and an uninvited late night wood-side solicitation by a plain-clothes policeman.

We do not begrudge him scoffing several pieces of brownie.

Although, brownie-apart, it was a quiet week here at bitsnbobs. The calm was shattered by the dramatic return of Mary.

Not the Madonna; who interestingly was the subject of a local radio broadcast concerning GPS/tomtom/sat nav and the problems faced by the Mayor of the village of Lourde (that has neither cave nor Mary manifestation) and Lourdes (that might).

It seems that a lot of folk have been turning up at the first and been reduced to taking a picture of themselves in front of the gates to the quarry. The Mayor thinks the whole affair is a confirmation of human imbecility.

He didn’t say whether he meant the technology or the apparition.

The bitsnbobs madonna, an old friend who lives in Canada, left a comment on the blog about 4 months ago and since then has been so prolific that the management have considered offering assistant editor status.

But then, almost as amazingly she disappeared and neither hair nor hide was seen or heard (if you can). Three weeks went past without a peep.

I know the blog posts have not been of merit recently but her absence was stark.

Alien abduction was suspected.

She reappeared this week, and fearful of an extraterrestrial intrusion I challenged her to answer an identity verification question.

She did.

She offered further insight to the film Inception (reviewed here)- commentating that the Canadian actress Ellen Page was out of her depth. Is she being unfair on the young actress? Was I distracted by the actresses long hair and unable to be critical?

Questions only you the readers can answer.

And then she raised the tricky issue of visiting sister-in-laws, something we might have to address in these pages tomorrow.


Mary said...

LOL -- Nice to know when you're missed BUT am feeling a mild sting from a number of back-handed compliments in this week's Digestive -- an OLD prolific madonna who lives in Canada -- shatterer of calm?

Well ... guilty as charged.

You don't need an assistant editor -- you need an AGENT to champion the merits of BnB's to the world.

As a 'writer for hire' -- often paid by the word HENCE the long comments -- I'm thankful to have the opportunity to contribute my 2 cents worth to this magnum opus.


PS - Sorry to hear about Michael's accident but what is a 'peage'?

PPS - You suspected Alien abduction?

PPPS -- E.T. says hello.

popps said...

Ooooops - all unintended Mary. Think "cherished" instead.
And i should have put "Péage" which in this case refers to the place where you pay your toll on the toll road (which is all motorways in France).

Mary said...

That's much better. 'Cherished' has a nice ring to it. Thank you.

Michael bumped into a toll booth --Too bad!

Chris, I've been wanting to ask you something. I've forgotten the name of the British street performer (I recall he had performed with you and John at Covent Garden) at EXPO that played a hobo. As I recall he came for the first 6-8 weeks but did not renew his contract. His name was Michael -- but I don't think that his last name was Mulkerrin -- could it have been Ferguson? I thought of him the other day for some reason. He was so convincing at playing a hobo that I recall he was picked up by EXPO security more than once and escorted off the site. Wonder whatever happened to him?


popps said...

I've asked this michael and it may or may not be the michael you refer too.
This michael wasn't really a hobo character, but then he did wear a big overcoat and do tricks with bubblegum.
He tells me that he did climb up something high to attract attention and that security came and told him to get down, and that he refused and said that if they tried to get him down he would fall and make sure he broke something and sue.
All in the name of improv.
He sometimes worked a double act with Dave Brown the magician but maybe not at expo.
He tells me he never got escorted off the site.
Otherwise we can't remember.

Mary said...

An aging memory is a terrible thing.

I do remember a big overcoat.

I also remember that I accompanied this Michael to the airport and his suitcase broke just as we got to the check-in counter. Does this ring a bell? Unlikely I imagine as all of you travelled thru so many airports. Did Michael recall staying at EXPO only for the first 6 weeks or so?

If he is the same Michael -- then I'd like to say hello and that I'm happy to hear that he is well and visiting his ex-pat friends in the south of France.


popps said...

Michael says no, no suitcase disaster at the airport.
HOWEVER - i'm suddenly inspired to think it might have been Chris the Piss (Lynam) whose name is neither michael nor ferguson, but he would certainly pass the hobo test and would have delighted in being thrown out by security and would have provoked that as much as possible.

Mary said...

This is a bit of a mystery. Chris the Piss (Lynam) doesn't ring a bell.

One last memory that might jog the memory. I recall a reference to a loosely connected comedy troupe called the Magnificent Seven. Don't know if Michael is still there but see if it means anything to him. In fact, you, Alex, Dave, John, may have been a part of it too.

If I ever sort throught he boxes in my basement cupboard, I'm sure there are some old EXPO entertainment schedules that would clear this up.

Just wanted to say that if I recalled Michael as a hobo, it would have been with fondness. As a kid, Red Skelton's hobo was one of my favourites.


popps said...

The more you write Mary the more it sounds like Michael is Michael - he has no memory of his bag braking but maybe you have the falty memory there?
he was certainly a key member of The Magnificent Seven.

Anonymous said...

AH HaH! I suspected as much ... now can you remind me what The Magnificent Seven was?


PS -- re broken bag -- that happened more than once so memory wires may be crossing.