Saturday 22 July 2017


the gallery/last week

I, and the thousands of readers that flock here daily searching for insight and
erudition are still waiting.

For what?

I’ve done it.

You’ve done it?

Of course. I did it on Tuesday. You know me, no sooner said than done.

Tuesday? Were you going to tell us?

I would have got round to it.

We’ve been on tender hooks.

Don’t you mean tent pegs?

No that’s my daughter, she’s going to Barcelona, she wants to sleep in the car and a tent.

A car AND a tent?

There’s five of them.

Whose car?


You’re letting your daughter take the car to Barcelona?

I’m hoping it will get stolen and the insurance will buy me a new one.


That’s it? Where’s the list?

Here. It’s a bit depressing. I laughed at first; then I got angry then depressed. Good luck.

Oh, ok. Any remedy?


Wine lovers face triple whammy Brexit price rise, says UK trade body.
Germany will ‘win the peace’ because of Brexit.
Welsh farming could be wiped out by Brexit, says union.
UK fishermen may not win ‘waters back’ after Brexit.
Fancy some sun, sea and sand? Brexit means it will cost you 15% more.
Almost half of highly skilled EU workers could leave UK within five years.
Ryanair ‘will have to halt UK flights’ if May does not agree deal.
Brexit may delay third runway, warns Heathrow chief.
Pret à Manger – just one in fifty job applicants is British, says HR chief.
UK nuclear power stations ‘could be forced to close’.
Pork pies and Stilton under Brexit threat, says Nick Clegg.
UK risks becoming ‘dumping ground’ for plastic.
UK firms face ‘avalanche of paperwork’ if Britain exits customs union.
Leaving EU so complex it could overwhelm politicians, warn senior academics.
Record number of EU nurses quit NHS after vote.
Brexit could make NHS shortage of nurses worse, says report.
Northern Ireland peace at risk, says Bertie Ahern.
Patients would have to wait years for new drugs – report.
Dozens of UK banks and financial firms ‘looking at moving to Ireland’.
Carmaker may produce electric Mini outside UK due to Brexit.
Vote wiped §1.5tn off UK household wealth in 2016, report says.
Replacing EU hospitality workers ‘will take 10 years’.
Concerns raised over Brexit impact on racing industry.
Scottish woman and French husband quit UK over Brexit.
Falkland Islands/Brexit could end Europe’s support for UK control, Argentina claims.
Britain’s energy supply is in jeopardy after Brexit, warn MPs.
Brexit ‘could heralds end to British fruit and veg sales.
Poll shows 60% of European doctors are considering leaving UK.
EU vote may be final straw for some couples, say lawyers.
Im EU citizens in Britain ‘could be at risk of deportation’.
Coffee chain blames UK profits plunge on Brexit.
EU fears influx of ‘British Champagne’.
‘Pay ten pounds to visit Europe’/ EU ministers to discuss plan to charge Britons.
UK tourists could face mobile phone roaming charges.
An EU-plot to sabotage the great British breakfast.
Fear of brain drain as EU nationals leave British universities.
Brexit will spell the end of British art as we know it.
Brexit negotiations might take 10 years – if we’re lucky.
Hard Brexit could mean hard luck for fry-up fans.
British strawberries could cost 50% more because of Brexit, Mps told.
Chocolate could get smaller after Brexit.

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