The Octopus and the Helicopter.

in the pocket

Do you think you can fly a helicopter upside down?

Not me.

No… I meant – do you think it’s possible?

I doubt it; surely the spinning blade things push it up, so.. if it was upside down… I don’t know… maybe it would go up more but the wrong way up. I wouldn’t like to try anyhow… why are you asking me this?

I want to have your opinion.

On upside down helicopters?

No.. why did you go?

Ah.. I don’t know really… maybe I just wanted to sit in the dark, hold hands and eat chocolate.

So, tell me, what did you think?

The hand was good.

No, I meant the film. Are you a fan?

Hardly. I thought the last one – Skyfall – was a load of crap.

But you went again.

True. Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner.

That you love London Town?

That I think of her.

Wherever you roam?

Well, that’s true.. .but maybe Bond is in your genes if you’re English.

I doubt it. Anyway, give me a review.

We haven’t done that for a while. (editorial note t)

Was it good?

Good? Hmm… It’s long… I didn’t get bored.

That might not be enough to make me go watch it.

I saw it just after the terrorist attack in Paris, it didn’t sit well at first.

Uncomfortable?

Yep. Then it sucked me in.

When?

When the hotel exploded.

Why did it explode?

I have no idea. There were a few things I didn’t understand.

Like?

Why Monica was in the film, where the aeroplane came from, how he got on top of the mountain, why he didn’t shoot at the tyres on the bullet proof car, why the bad guy didn’t just shoot him when he had the chance or the next chance or the one after that…..

You sound like a ten year old.

It was the last time I saw Bond.

Except Skyfall?

Except Skyfall.

Do you need to see Skyfall?

Do you need to see any of them?

Fair dinkum (editorial note t).

It had a bit of everything you’d expect though.

A bit where you’d go – oh my god, surely not?

With an Octopus.

A bit where you chuckle?

At least two.

A bit  where you go – how did he do that?

Two and a half hours of it .