Saturday, 14 July 2012

From a Distant Archive, far, far away. 14.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

The Archives are (as some people know without being told) the most important part of Bitsnbobs. Nothing would possibly be done at any time without the acquiescence of the ‘delightful’ Mrs Penny- unless of course she is eating pie at the time, in which case nothing will be done and you will just have to wait.

She likes her pie.

That said, it’s a glorious place with sublime and shining examples of mislaid thought caused by how-to-do-it hesitation.

If you enter with a sense of delicate perception, tact (always useful in dealing with Mrs Penny) and genuine (if not genius) respect you will discover much to help you rise over the top of the darkest depths of inspiration. (Which reminds me that Batman Rises is due for release in 6 days!)

The Archives (the archives that go beyond beyond!) have something to do with everything, nothing to do with never and everything to do with anything else.

Is that clear?

What I mean is that Archives go to the back of beyond and I am trying my best – not easy – to bring some of that back and put it here in the daylight.

But don’t get me wrong; The Archives are well lit – sometimes mechanically in a Dickensian way, sometimes through state of the art natural process. It’s just that sometimes stuff gets missed.

Not just stuff either.

Numbers of people have got lost in here - I’m hoping it will happen to me – some of the secretaries are cute and the reputation of the cooking is legion.

Why would I want to reappear in the light of day when I can trade it for the excitement of the Archived night?

Yes The Archives are open during the day- and there is much to see – but they really come alive in the evening and there are many sections that can only be found by full moonlight.

These are known by habitués as the Hidden Moons, and they number 13 – though only half have been discovered as of date.

Many years ago The Archives were attacked by the angry and suspicious people of the nearby village of Umloc forcing a move to the present location in the lost caves. 

These were distressing times for Mrs Penny and frankly speaking she put on a lot of weight and we feared for her sanity.

It was shortly after that a wealthy and farsighted benefactor left Bundle, a dog, among the newspaper clippings of the fourth floor. It took him several days to eat his way through them by which time Mrs Penny had found him, saved what remained, fell in love and named Bundle her assistant in permanence.

There was some initial objection from the Trustees but acceptance was voted in at the AGM by an accommodating majority.

Much of The Archive’s subsequent resurrection- along with Mrs Penny’s – is down to the dog.

This is the only other known photo of Bundle.

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