Tuesday, 19 July 2011

The Dream Team.

So here’s what you need to know to catch up.

I had a son, my son grew up, my son passed his driving test.

There – you are now up to date.

The other day – a Sunday evening – he said; “Can I borrow the car?”

I hesitated.

“Where do you want to go?”

“The cinema in Gaillac.” (Gaillac is 20 kilometres away).


On Monday morning I got into the car to go to work – I looked at the mile/kilometre thingy; I had set it to zero out of curiosity.

He had done 255 kilometres!

“What happened?”

No – actually that was a –“WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!”

“I got there, discovered I had forgotten my wallet, came back, picked up Amy, picked up Charlotte, picked up Atmel (all female huh?); went back, then we went to Albi…”

“You didn’t say anything about Albi.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Sorry! – you did 255 Km!”

“I put some petrol in, look I filmed it.”

“You filmed it!?”

What is it with youth today that everything has to be on Youtube?

A week later he bought his own car.

I was happy – until, driving back from the garage I realised that HIS car was bigger, newer and cleaner than mine will ever be.

But it’s smaller now.

The other morning he thought it would be interesting to let his girlfriend drive.

She doesn’t usually.

Never has before, in fact.

We live at the end of a 2km dirt track; she hit a tree three yards from where the car had been parked.

The good news was that because it was three yards into the drive she wasn’t going very fast.

The bad news was that she discovered the only half buried concrete pole in a three-mile radius.

Not half buried anymore though - more wedged between expensive mechanical looking bit of the car and crumpled plastic bit.

We decided to go to the river for a swim and think about what to do in the morning.

In the morning I woke before everyone – I always do, it’s the best time of the day – except Martin, who lives down the road and has a much more practical sort of brain than I do.

I phoned and invited him to come and give his advice.

He came.

He always does.

He talked about chain hoists, jacking points and cable assistance – all things I had never heard of and then asked –

“What’s your team?”

Friends from Berlin are visiting – friends who work in the circus and have been mentioned before, here.

“I’ve got two clowns, two trapeze artists and someone who lets his girlfriend drive into a tree.”

Martin left.

But............. it turns out that Trapeze Artists are just the sorts of folk you need in such a situation.

Whilst I was on the phone trying to find a chain hoist, the two trapeze artists and a clown got the car out.

And my son?

He filmed it.

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