Thursday 17 June 2010

Two euro for your thoughts.

Blab bla bla, rabbit rabbit, blab la bla football, blab la bla, football football football, drone, blab la bla GOAL!, what(?) when, where, bla bla bla.

I’m really trying to get in to this, I’ve got my wall planner, I’ve joined a fantasy league, I’ve taught Krissie the offside rule three times but I don’t know, something’s missing: grace, beauty, action, excitement….football.

And now the broadcasters have turned off the crowd sounds and everything seems – it’s hard for me to say this – pointless.

Who cares anymore?

Clearly the local boulangerie does, because they are now offering a World-Cup-Special-two–pizzas-for-one deal. Buy one,
get one free, drive up, drive off, collapse on sofa and watch the match.

The young woman who excitedly explained all this to me as I ordered an onion quiche, looked like the last person on earth who would be interested by football - though appearances can deceive as I watched 22 people last night who were dressed for the part but clearly motivated by other thoughts.

The onion quiche was a stopgap, emergency on-the-way-home-after-a-day’s-work sustenance substitution for an ice cream and bar of chocolate.

Don’t want to get fat.

I read comment yesterday that argued that one of the reasons that there have been so few goals in the tournament so far is because the goalkeepers, although clearly not fat, are much taller and bigger than when the game and its rules were invented and hence take up more space leaving less for the ball.

Clearly bigger goals are the solution was the writer’s conclusion.

Most other people are now blaming the ball and it emerges that some nations have been practicing with the thing since December whilst others haven’t.

For example the English.

It seems that the English football league has a sponsorship deal with a rival ball-making company and wasn’t able to kick the new one in competition until the other day and this apparently explains why they looked like a group of novices.

Maybe I’m being a bit daft but if I was paid 10 million to be the trainer (incidentally, I would do it for half that) I would have spent a bit of it and bought all my squad a ball each to practice in the garden with their kids months ago.

Anyway – the good news. The Vuvuzela has arrived in Toulouse , a headline in another paper informs me, and I have been instructed to procure at least two for the household.

I think the words exact words were -“If you really love us you’ll buy some.”

Then after a long silence, when all the family were lost in diverging tangents of thought, “They only cost two euro(s).”


Mary said...

The vuvuzela is alive and well on our CBC broadcasts. After much debate they decided that it is South Africa's party and they can celebrate it the way they want.

[OOH -- Greece just scored!]

Re the lack of goals -- I think that there is so much pressure on these teams from their home countries that none of them wants to be criticized or humiliated so they play the extreme defense game. It seems to me it is the opposite of the way they play to qualify -- where they have to score in order to win.

Am enjoying the tournament. Here all of the games are played during the day so no one is losing any sleep.


popps said...

Poor Nigeria, will there be any African teams left for the knockout part?
And who is the dog Mary?

Mary said...

Sorry, I forgot to ask you in my earlier comment -- who is the dog? Should I know this dog?


Mary said...

The dog is Pickles. Pickles has a wikipedia entry saying that before his death in 1967 he found a trophy that had been stolen. He looks like a great dog. Nice of you to remember him and for bringing his accomplishment to our attention during this World Cup.


Mary said...

And not just any trophy -- but the Jules Rimet Trophy which I just discovered is the name of the FIFA World Cup trophy.


popps said...

THE trophy.

Denise Mackenzie said...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe only THE GERMAN TEAM had the new ball for the last 6 months - say no more!