Monday, 6 June 2011

Self Portrait 6


photo by minnie

I was invited to a party on Friday night – it was a celebration of the host’s 18 year old daughter’s eighteenth birthday, sort of.


There was champagne, and wine and beer – I tried all of them – food, song and speeches.


I was with my family, but I sat alone.


Sure I said hello, kissed everyone, shook a hand or two, engaged in conversation, but…


I was pretty much sitting alone.


I had a long chat with Gabrieil who is about five years old, about Go-Go’s – the creatures not the dancers.


Then we ran out of mutual interest.


I felt tired suddenly, so said goodnight and returned.


Alone.


And slept in the van.


On my own.


Solitude is something that I don’t really understand – except you can feel it when you are on your own and when you are with others.


If you are truly on your own it hurts more I know, if you are alone with others it’s different.


Self-imposed?


An act of choice?


The wrong place at the wrong time?


Looking back through a life I’ve known – and I am paraphrasing John Martyn here – I am sometimes sad about the way it’s grown.


I’m alone at this moment – son is visiting his girlfriend, wife and daughter are dancing – I was cleaning.


I stopped to write this.


Because I was thinking of solitude, again.


I think it’s a strong part of me – look where I live!


If you can find it!!


Miaow.



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

somebody important wrote some beautiful words once.there are moments of solitude and silence,moments of distance and time,
........a question answered may happen.

Anonymous said...

There’s mystery in the moment
Mystery in the word
Solace in the mountain
Bethlehem, lake and bird
There’s fire in the belly
Sword and battle drawn
Righteousness forsaken
Desperate tales to tell.
Fear in wind, cascading
Pain and pleasure stirred.
There’s mystery in these moments.
Mystery in these words.

Anonymous said...

2nd verse?

Anonymous said...

Yes.

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