a field near here/a week ago |
I have been trying to get my head around
the Mue.
I’m tempted to say ‘let your legs do the work and the
rest will follow’, but I’ll settle for ‘you’re not the only one.’
Really? Who else is trying to get their
head around the Mue?
Me.
Oh.
And Mary.
Mary? I thought she was a figment of your
imagination.
She may be, but she exists.
Like the Mue?
Sort of.
So, anyway, I’ve made some notes, and a
map.
You have a map of Mary?
No! Concentrate!
You mentioned her first.
No I didn’t look, it’s there in black and
white, and bold AND italics.
She’s Italician you know that don’t you?
That was a really bad joke.
I try.
So, this is what we know so far.
We’re back to the Mue?
Yes we are. There is, apparently, a reception a foyer and
a front desk.
That’s correct.
Are they one and the same?
Certainly not!
Are they in the same place?
Not at all! The foyer is directly under the side
corridor and ever so slightly to the south east.
The side corridor is near, very, near to
The latest Acquisitions Chamber, is that so?
That’s correct, access can be gained from the Foyer
either by boat or ladder.
So, the foyer is next to the river?
It’s ‘near’ the river; you have to pass under the arch
down the lane at the side.
There’s a lane now?
And an arch – the lane is next to the table.
Which is on the front step?
Yes, the front step leads to the entrance door, which
opens directly into the Foyer. It’s where we are now.
We are?
Of course, though technically this is maybe the front
door. There’s the table outside, sometimes we put a coffee pot there to let you
know that there is a café somewhere inside.
The café seems to be near the Latest
Acquistions Chamber.
You’re good! It’s across the side corridor.
So, more or less above the Foyer?
Less.
Less?
More.
Which?
In between.
In between what, the side corridor and ?
No, between the more or the less. Ish.
In the café I can find the illustrated tome
of founding principles?
And chocolate cake! It’s gluten free and
very, very addictive. I ate three pieces the last time I served in the café.
You served?
I made bread! There’s a kitchen you know.
A kitchen?
Through the arch at the back of the café,
you have to stoop a bit. There’s a timetable on the wall there if you want to
add your name as a helper-outer, but you have to sit on the floor to read it.
So where’s the reception?
It moves. If the coffee pot is on the table
outside the front door the reception is likely to be there, on the step. It
depends if the woman who does the tantric massage is at home.
Does she work for The Mue?
No; she owns the building next door, she’s
a grump. She hates it when the reception is on the step because we dissuade her
tantric clients.
So The Mue has a building?
What’s the point of corridors if you don’t
have a building?
Corridors? With an S – there’s more than
one?
Ha! There’s the side corridor but there’s
also THE corridor.
How do I get there?
It’s a bit of a mystery, it keeps
surprising me; usually after I’ve been to the toilet.
Is that in the courtyard?
No that’s the ex-toilet, which could be a
fountain.
And where is the courtyard.
You have to go through the foyer to get to
the courtyard, sometimes the reception is in the courtyard.
I suspect you have to go through the Foyer
to get anywhere.
Unless you take the boat.
Of course.
But watch out for the donkeys, you don’t
want to bump into the donkeys, even though they have lovely bells.
The donkeys?
Yep, nothing to do with The Mue, but they
come up past the front door most mornings and down past the front door most
evenings, so if you are trying to get through the arch and down the lane to get
to the boat it can be awkward. They sometimes bite.
What about the Front Desk?
What about it?
Where is it?
You’ll have to ask Max, he usually takes it
with him.
Max, the guy who will lift you up so you
can see what is exhibited in Our Blesséd Lady’s Alcove? Why don’t you have a
step-ladder?
He’s ex-circus; we have a debt to the
circus.
Does he work full time?
You’ll have to ask him.
Where is he?
He’ll be by the Alcove; we’re changing the
Alcove exhibit today.
If I’m right, the Alcove – Our Blesséd
Lady’s Alcove – is on the side corridor.
We always say ‘in the corridor’ here at The
Mue, but yes, just along from the Display Box.
That’s right, I forgot you had a display
box in the corridor.
Then you haven’t been paying attention.
I said ‘in’, so I must be. Who else works
in The Mue?
We always say ‘at The Mue’ here at The Mue.
Sorry.
It’s ok, you’re learning. Bob is
co-currator, he has a badge.
He asked for a hat.
Bob! Bob in a hat!
We can’t have that.
What a fact, at that.
If Bob had a hat.
There’s Aunt Taffy, but she’s busy at the
moment.
Doing what?
Cleaning The Annexe.
Is The Annexe at the Mue – I said ‘At’.
I noticed! You’re making progress, a little
– because if it’s an Annexe…..
Oh yes. It’s at someplace else.
We just say ‘someplace else’ no need for an
at. It’s yellow.
The at?
The Annexe, try to keep up.
At the Mue, there are four floors yes? One
is fabled.
You‘ve forgotten the Fifth! Stand on a
chair, open the trap door; remember?
Oh yes, that’s The Special Exhibits room.
What’s there?
I don’t know, ive never been there we don’t have a chair on the
fifth floor yet.
Can’t you use the ladder?
It’s fixed to the vice in the Foyer.
The vice?
It’s on wheels; we can move it outside for
temporary exhibit space but not up the stairs.
There are a lot of stairs I hear.
Madness! I can’t make head or tail of them,
hell for wheelchairs.
That’s a problem.
We have Max.
True.
And you HAVE to visit the First Landing.
No you’re getting missed up with the
November 28th Room – it’s a distant corner, visitors rarely get that
far.
Why?
The chocolate cake!
We haven’t mentioned the non-existent
sixth.
We won’t. I think I’ve covered everything;
it should be crystal clear.
What if I want to donate?
It HAS to be un-expected and I can read
your thoughts.
True, but what if someone else wants to
donate?
They can leave it anywhere.
Will you find it?
Hmm, possibly. If they want to be
absolutely certain and not occasionally certain, they should leave it in/on the
photocopier.
Where is it?
In The Annexe.
It’s yellow.
Not the photocopier, but The Annexe, yes.
Can I see the new exhibit In/on The Alcove?
In. You’ll have to ask Max, oh… here he is.
Ready?
Ready.
2 comments:
A-Mue-sing :-)
Now I get it - I think. Keep us posted.
Signed,
The ghost of Mary past, present and future.
x
You get it? I don't even get it!!
You'll have to explain it to me one day.
But nice to hear from you.
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