Green Veg and Scum.

Lincoln/way before i was born.

What happened in the bathroom?

Ah.

Ah?

Do you know the Dr Pinimenthol Erkaktungsbad – two dots on the a?

I’ve heard something, but I can’t remember if it was with or without dots.

And do you know Vegebom?

Is it something Australian’s eat on toast?

No, that’s Vegemite.

You’d better explain.

Dr Pinimenthol Erkaktungsbad is really interesting blue-ish liquid that you can add to a bath and it makes it all bubbly and smelling of deep healing substances in which you then lie for as long as you can and all fevers, colds and flues are magiced away in your sleep and many buckets of damp restorative sweat.

Hmm.

Vegebom is a medicinal Vic like, oily based mixture of plant essentials that one can rub vigorously onto the chest to keep away all manner of courtship.

I’m none the wiser about the bath.

The former is intended for the bath, but I didn’t have any left. The latter isn’t, but I had a whole tube full.

So you added the latter to a hot steaming bath, hoping to emulate the former?

More or less.

More or less?

I chucked in some random essential oils that I found in the cabinet, plus a few twigs from the garden.

The garden?

Aromatic twigs.

Rosemary?

Last year’s Lavender.

What happened?

Not Dr P. Erkaktungsbad that’s for sure, more Dr Seuss gloop. The gloopiest gloop ever.

It’s a mess.

I can’t remove it, the more I scrub, the more it resists. I think it’s alive. And you should have seen me – naked, but not in a way any soap could deal with, and water impervious.

You should use Cif, the bathroom cleaner.

I did!

And?

There was a chemical reaction, I had to the leave the room.

The Black Stuff?

Yep.

Scrape it up.

I tried; I’ve been at it with a pick!

Careful

Ah.

Ah?

It’s ok, that’s just to remind me the tap is loose in the sink, it came flying off when I turned it on. I’ll mend it in the morning.

In the morning?

I need something?

A pick?

A cat in a hat.