Francois spreads a rumour.

Whir, whir, spin, spin, pedal, pedal, grunt.

Yep – the Tour de France started on Saturday – which means it’s hot and it’s summer.

The Tour de France comes with its attendant rituals- something Bitsnbobs (the blog with wheels!) has gone at lengths to explain.

Here.

But.

There’s more!

Stuff I didn’t know!

But!

I know it now!

This year Le Tour (as they say) goes through my garden – well almost; they ARE going to go past the end of the track AND through the village (the one with three zebra crossings and two speed bumps; and a population of 15).

So I now have first hand knowledge of what goes on before the race kicks off.

It starts with rumours.

“Have you heard – the tour is coming through the village?”

“No!?”

“Yes! – well at least that’s what Francois says.”

Why Francois would know is a mystery – he last sat on a bike in 1956, but he’s often right about the weather.

Next they resurface the road, not in the village but on obscure approaches, mainly hills – what would the tour be like without hills eh?

Of course when they resurface the roads they don’t tell anyone - so the next morning you will find at least two cars that have spun off into the ditches at the side.

Then of course the rumours get stronger – “They’re going past Francois’s farm!” - and then we understand why he had to finally paint that barn which hadn’t seen treatment since 1956.

After that everything is quiet for a while – there is still no official route available on the website and we forget about it and we go back to our quiet ways here in the village.

Except.

Except there is a sudden increase in the number of very fit cyclists pounding the lanes.

Out for my Sunday pootle I am swamped by Lycra and disraeli gears.

And I’m left in a cloud of fresh laid gravel.

And then, there they are – the yellow signs!

It’s official.

And on Saturday they set off from the starting line, somewhere up north.

We’re ready – July 13th, the whole village will be on the street.

All 15 of us.