The DIGESTIVE issue 5 (Just needs a title).

The fifth Digestive – that’s half a packet already!

Welcome to issue 5 of the bitsnbobs weekly sum-up for those who like to stay in bed with a cup of tea and a bickie and catch up (not ketchup).

Ketchup on biscuits – could you imagine?

Which reminds me of a game we sometimes play – whenever someone is eating and says “I don’t like” or of course “I like” and then names a fruit, vegetable or dish.

Then we, well me actually – I’m the only one who seems to love this game as much as me – says, “Do you like ice cream with fish?” or “Do you like mashed potato with toothpaste?”

The idea of the game is to try to create the most unlikely and potentially unapertising combinations.

I am reminded, as I write, of hours idled away in a dressing room in a SW London pub theatre in the company of several performers among whom the comic Arthur Smith would always feature.

He was frequently the compere at this venue which had a charmless upstairs room where we could await the fate that lay in wait on the stage downstairs; the evenings were invariably long and lasted well into the early morning.

Arthur, to enliven those waiting hours would strike up a game of “How much”.

It went like this:

Arthur – “How much would you want to kiss a frog covered in shit?” (or someother unlikely, possibly repungent task).
Us – “What?”
A – “How much would you want to kiss a frog covered in shit?"
Us - “uuh” (silence)
A – “No, come on. How much?”
Someone – “Shut up Arthur.” – (game enthusiasts often meet this sort of apathy).
A- “No- tell me, -how much would you want to kiss a frog covered in shit?”
Me – “Oh, I don’t know - cow shit or horse shit?’
A- “Cow”
Someone Else – “A thousand quid (pounds).”
A- “ A thousand pounds!? Blimey. I’d do it for 500! How much would you want to run naked through the streets of Clapham singing the National Anthem?”

The game would thus continue and would only ever stop if someone asked Arthur “How much would you want to shut up?”

Which would start a new game of "how much would you pay me?"

What has this got to do with the Digestive – the bit of bitsnbobs that gives you a handy place to ketchup on the last week?

Nothing – think of it as a free gift.

The past week started on the beach, contained the last few thoughts on the FIFA World Cup (with a photo of all the different balls ever used in the finals from 1930 onwards), had a couple of entries about an Octopus called Paul (who is still in the news) and ended in thoughts with what to wear (and what not to wear) to those occasions that demand that you look your best.

The astute amongst you - Mary (who will get a link once she tells me her website is safe) – noticed also that there seemed to be a few boats in churches along the way too.

I like boats and I like churches it’s true, but why the photos this week? I suspect Mary would be a good player of Do You Like? and How Much?

Gruissan –where the last week began – has a very beautiful church and a strong connection with the sea. I was there without my camera, victim of rushed packing in a train station multi-story car park, but I was reluctantly lent a teenager’s camera and allowed to get a couple of shots.

No big mystery – but proof that the team here at The Digestive will answer all letters sent in by the readers!

Now – “How much would you want to get out of bed instead of me and drive Loui to the market?”