Saturday 17 October 2009

Good News /Bad News

Good News! – for me – The mushrooms yesterday didn’t kill me.

Bad news - someone posted a newspaper article on the office notice board about a man dying at his desk and nobody noticing for several days.

(Interestingly a google search will also offer up; man who dies after intercourse with a horse, man dies in chocolate, man dies from farting, and man dies from playing world of warcraft.)

Good news – it seems that the story is not true, just a recycled urban legend. (the other good news is that the smell of cat piss diffusing through the house turns out to be a bag of highly potent basil my friend gave me and i had forgotten about).

That’s good then because i was a bit worried about that.

I might have survived random mushroom gathering poisoning only to succumb to extreme office-itis.

The good folk at the office where I sometimes work (when they’ll have me) sat down and worked out a few strategies should it happen.

We decided that if I don’t move for a few days they will put a piece of chocolate next to me and if the chocolate is still there 5 minutes later then they will call the emergency services.

Pamela decided that it should be a glass of wine for her.

Karen said a DVD of the latest episode of Eastenders (a TV soap) would work for her.

It's good to be surrounded by people who take things seriously and know how to react in a crisis.

My Grandmother would probably have said, "let's sit down and have a nice cup of tea." - and she lived through the war time Blitz, so she should know.

My Grandmother was another person who didn't move much - i have no memory of her ever being anywhere other than the red armchair that dominated her sitting room, though i guess she slept someplace else.

Her name was Helen, but we must have buried her name alongside as everyone calls her simply, Grandma.


Anne Hodgson said...

It'd be a latte macchiato or me. Or stinky socks, that would get an immediate response.

popps said...

well give you Latte, no one should get woken with stinky socks except the teenager responsible!

vicki said...

Delighted to see you are still in the land of the living.

popps said...

You know what Vicki ? Me too!
I have the same feeling eating wild mushrooms as i do changing electrical fittings - i like to be insulated in a rubber suit for that.

Janet Bianchini said...

Good to see no harm was done! You are very brave to eat wild mushrooms. Not my cup of tea, actually.

popps said...

you know me, mushrooms, blog improvisation - you only live once!