So Long, been nice to know you.

It started with his tonsils.

Then the knee.

After that, one cataract and then the other, changing the sparkle - if not the colour – in his eyes.

And then, the hip. Not the same side as his knee - so the in-balances balanced each other out and his walk became upright and assured. 

He had just started remedial walking when his heart gave out.

Luckily a donor donated, and the doctors carried out a successful transplant, adding a pacemaker to make sure.

“Could you change the kidneys whilst you’re at it?” he had joked. “Or put in one of those computer chips so that I can access the internet directly?”

The doctors had laughed.

His wife hadn’t.

 

Jenny was still young, only just sixty and she had never had an operation in her life – she wasn’t going to start now. 

But she had a dilemma.

Yes, she had promised ‘till death us do part – but this was no longer the same man she had fallen in love with. She didn’t recognise the half of him. Less if you calculated in all the blood that was transfused during the operation. And now he wanted to change his brain!

“I want a divorce.” It was breakfast time and he was tucking into All-Bran and Spirulina – things he had never eaten at any other time in his life.

“Because of the beard?” He had given up shaving.

“I don’t think my vows are contractual any more, I didn’t marry you.” She pointed in turn at the knee, the hip, and the chest.

Then- not wanting to discuss this with a stranger – she stood up, said goodbye and walked out of the door.