Sunday 20 June 2021

The Fox, the Ant and the Vampire

There’s this guy, his name is Gill (which he pronounces Jill, which is confusing) and he has just asked me if I’m an ex rock musician, which is weird; if I was an ex rock musician why would I be ex? Paul McCartney is at least a hundred and twenty and….ok, maybe not exactly a rock musician, but what about Bob? You get my point don’t you? You don’t stop being a rock musician do you?


The question itself set me thinking because Jill (gill) is not a name I hear men using very often and then I thought of Gill Scott Heron – who may or may not be a rock musician and I wondered if the person wondering if I was a former rock musician was in fact one himself.


Anyway, to try and cut a long story short he has a dog called Fox.


And a wife who may be a vampire.


Fox is a terrier and looks a lot like Snowy but is no relation, except distant and is a replacement for a much loved and irreplaceable boxer dog that was part of Jill’s distant past.


His (Gill’s) wife is called Myra. I think. I’m writing this down in case I meet them again. 


I might. Apparently I have met them before, which is why Jill asked me if I was once a rock musician, apparently I appeared so laid back he thought I must be.


I wasn’t sure if this was a compliment or a suggestion that I had used a lot of drugs so in a prejudiced response I wondered aloud if Myra was a vampire.


When I say ‘aloud’ I mean very loud internally, in a way that no one else could hear.


‘I’m from Transylvania.’


I’ve never spoken to a vampire before, though to be honest I imagine you only ever get one chance, so the fact that I’m writing this probably proves that she isn’t.





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