Sunday, 8 January 2017

One of a Kind.

laguepie/france/november 2016


How many elephants do you think there are in Scotland?

Sorry?

I said – how many elephants do you think there are in Scotland?

Er… I don’t think there are ANY elephants in Scotland. Hares yes, geese too – I think they use them as guards at the distilleries, and I HAVE seen seals there with mine own eyes. I’m pretty certain that there shouldn’t be elephants in such a place.

Such a place? It’s not so bad.

It’s not bad at all, I lived there for over a year.

Really?

Yep.

Where?

Aberdeen.

When?

Long time ago.

See any elephants?

Neither hide or trunk, why are you asking me this? I HAVE seen elephants in Hamburg, one of them gobbed on me.

Gobbed?

Slobbered. I was honoured.

Elephant slob?

I love elephants.

Then you will want to know about Mondula.

Mondula?

Mondula is the ONLY elephant in Scotland.

There’s an elephant in Scotland?

Only one, but there were two.

Two?

Toto died.

Toto? Look, sorry, I’m a bit confused.

There IS an elephant in Scotland – Mondula, he’s a male. And he’s all alone.

He’s in the wrong place.

That may be, but he’s been there since 1997.

After my time.

Don’t you feel anything?

Like what?

I don’t know, I find it very sad. He may be in the wrong place but he lived there with Toto until last year and now he’s not only alone, but he’s the only Elephant in Scotland. That seems enormous to me somehow.

Well you sit down and I’ll make you a cuppa tea.

Thank you.

One good thing will come out of all this.

What’s that?


Well, yesterday one of us – you or I – asked “even if we did it before?”

It was me.

Well , there you go, we didn't speak about Mondula before. And, besides, It’s different this time.

How so?

I’m older, I’m wiser.

Seen the world?

A BIT more.

BOBbed around?

TELL me.

I’ll SHOW thee.



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