Sunday 6 November 2016

Milestones and Graduates.



You gotta pass them; sometimes you pass them again.

Going the other way.


Going home?

Moving along.

Forty years have slipped past.

I read somewhere that if you write a list of everything that has happened you will never say ‘Time Flies’.

I won’t say it this time even if I don’t (write that list) because it no longer feels like yesterday.

Yesterday does.

Is that living in the moment?

THIS moment is on a highway, heading south. It’s 5.30; the day is falling. The moon – all new – is out, this month it will be the closest to the earth for a long time to come. I should still be here, but no one ever knows for sure.

But I hope it won’t be on this highway.

Though heading south will be ok.

Or west.

Maps… been thinking about them too.

I picked up one of these a couple of days ago; in fact if anyone wanted to get me one for Christmas or my birthday I wouldn’t stop them.

I could try to put these thoughts in one.

Could be interesting.

Could be a challenge.

Would it be a circle?

Or a wavy line?

1976 would have to be there, somewhere… near the bottom I guess and in a very feint print, probably pencil, as the memory is equally vague.

I remember outside only, photos and my parents.

I remember NOTHING of inside.


Surely there was a hall – I could represent that with an empty box; so on the map I guess there is an empty box at the bottom.

I could put an empty box with the numbers 1976… or maybe the box is the limits of the whole map and … hang on…

What does this map show?

Maybe just yesterday.

Even though now it must be the day before yesterday.

How would I show that?

God knows – but the ironing board would have to be on the map because usually I do my best to avoid them.

So the cupboard where the ironing board was before I ironed my shirt could be there too.

And maybe Brick Lane - where I bought the shirt a few years prior.

And you – who bought me the shirt; you would be in a lot of these maps.

I could add the tube line we took, in which case the common we walked past where I ran in the morning also.

There is a Lido on the common and two days ago – hereafter called ‘this morning’ – there was frost too.

People were swimming in the Lido.

I was running and I needed gloves, so they…..

We were late, we thought we were late at least, so there would be a clock somewhere on the map, and people with arrows arriving from other sides – Tayra from the North East, a big arrow – collared orange like her hair.

Maxime from the South East – there would be a symbol of a plane for her, also probably orange.

Since her hair is as well.

Beth would be there, her arrow would be black and coming from the North West – even if she lives in Yorkshire, she sounds like she’s from Lancashire to me.

And Lancaster, or Manchester, has to be on this map and 1976 would be there – with the empty box and the no-memory with my parents standing outside smiling.

They were proud so I would need a proud colour.

Golden Yellow.

Autumn Golden Yellow.

Harvest Yellow.

That’s the one.

We reap what we sow.

I’m a parent this time, outside and inside.


Did I do my best?

Did I let you down?

You did - better than!

And you didn’t.

In that order.

I cried.

Harvest Yellow Tears.

still interrupting.

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