Nietzsche's Palm Tree.

the one

Hang on; hang on! Mazes again?

LABYRINTH!

Yes, yes, yes – but why?

Cause I want to tell you about my son.

I don’t get it.

That’s because you think that this is a cart and horses when in fact it’s a horse and cart. Sort of.

Does that mean we have stopped cart and horsing and now we are horsing and carting again?

Well, today I think we are transitioning.

That’d be, er, crorse and harting.

Yep I guess so.

Ok, cool, tell me about your son.

He’s been reading Nietzsche.

He reads?

I know; I was astounded too. Then he went to the car.

This one? (editorial note t)

Yes. And after he had stopped saying ‘there’s a snake in my boot’ for the sixteenth time, he said there was a book in there I wanted to read.

TWO books!

I know! That’s about one every 12 years. I can’t believe it either; the last thing I saw him read was a cereal packet.

So why the maze?

L…A….B…

Yeah; yeah, got it. So?

I used this one to make the maze in the meadow this Easter.

HA! You said it!

No; no – look – NORMALLY – I make a maze, (editorial note t) but this year I used this Labyrinth from the wall of a London Tube Station to replace the maze and recreate a giant grass labyrinth in the meadow next to the house and then hid Easter eggs in it and then we wandered in as a family and ate them.

Ok….

That was the last time I spoke to my son until yesterday.

Chatty lot your family then.

Oh I’ve sent him a hundred and two text messages, not had a single reply, mailed e-ones and heard nothing and phoned him a handful of times and just got his answer phone.

Did you leave a message?

Yes. But – bout.

And then?

He turned up and he said : “hi”, then I said “hi,” we had a hug and then he said ‘when are you going to plant a palm tree?’

When ARE you going to plant a palm tree?

Don’t you start!