“All tickets please”
“A single to Paddington Station”.
“You’ll need a ticket for the dog m’am.”
“I do NOT need a ticket for the dog young man, she is not
using a seat.”
“Be that as it may, it’ll still need a ticket”.
“She is not an IT, kindly refrain from vulgarity”
“Look; are you going to buy a ticket or not.”
“ My good man, I think I have made that perfectly clear, now
please go away before i call the police. No, no, don’t you worry dear, I’ve
told him you don’t need a ticket and you don’t. Yes, yes, a thoroughly
unpleasant young man, don’t you worry, we’ll be at Paddington soon.”
“You’re mad”.
“Yes dear, we’ll just ignore him.”
“Any more fares please.”
“Yes dear, he’s gone. Now…. no, I didn’t have to buy a
ticket either. Yes. Now, have you got everything?”
“Paddington station next stop.”
“Come along my dear, we’re here. Hurry now or you’ll be
late. Ok, it’s Platform number six, over there by the man in the black coat.
No, no, the one wearing the hat. Hurry, you don’t want to miss it. No, you know
why. It’s too dangerous. You have to go on your own. I’ll be here on Sunday.
Good luck. Don’t talk to anyone.”
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