The Tunnels of Time - News Flash!

We interrupt The Tunnels of Time to bring you a news flash – the editor.

As some of you know, Bitsnbobs – the blog you are perusing – operates from a secret location and is brought to you through a heady cocktail of blood, sweat and, recently, a LOT of tears. Our endeavour is sustained by the combined efforts of an editorial staff (of at least two), an uncertain number of very short researchers (or a short number of uncertain ones), a cleaning operative (sex unclear) and two cats.

A further few of you may know that we are aided and abetted by a dedicated and formidable team of archivists housed elsewhere in a warren of cliff caves on a distant shore which recently gave way exposing a hitherto unknown subterranean tunnel which is enjoying an open day this June (The Tunnels Of Time).

What NO one knew - not even I - is that we also employ an unpaid and secretive Investigative Reporter who has a remit to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to and wherever they choose.

It’s a nice job.

But a bit dangerous - which probably why their existence, until now, has been a very personal and closely kept secret.

They might be Canadian.

No one really knows - because no one really knew.

It turns out that when our investigative reporter investigates something and realises that their investigating has unearthed something they consider worthy of further investigation, they stop the investigation, write a cryptic question on a piece of used blotting paper and leave it in an old shoebox at the bottom of the wardrobe where the Bitsnbob’s staff hang their coats when it is raining.

It’s been raining a fair torrent of late so the coats dripped a lot, the blotting paper absorbed and expanded and consequently came to the attention of the editorial staff.

Although the blotting paper was difficult to read, it confirmed a subconscious fear that the editorial staff had been harbouring in the form of a series of sleepless afternoons, that something was not right.

Or maybe not “not right”, but amiss.

Ok, the editorial staff SHOULD have realised much earlier and without the need of the shoebox, but we have been distracted by forces of nature beyond our control - and the tears have obscured our vision.

This may come as a shock to some of you, may just be bloody obvious to others – how else could someone on a word- support machine and in a deep comma organise an open day, eh? – but it turns out that Mrs Penny, our head archivist, know more informally as Ms Penny after her de-facto divorce, has an identical twin who goes by the confusing name Ms Peggy.

It is neither here nor there, except perhaps to her, that Ms Peggy is a lesbian.

She also rides a motorbike.

These two facts may help to everyone to tell her apart from her sister, who as far as we can tell is not, and doesn’t.

We have asked her if she minds dying her hair red just in case it doesn’t.

Ms Peggy has clearly been masquerading as Ms Penny, and vice versa, for quite a while as many of the staff believes the one to be the other.

I would do the same if I had a twin!

In fact, I would abuse the possibilities a lot.

Anyhow, full marks to our investigative reporter who stumbled upon the doubling up - in a small footnote here - and didn’t sleep until everything was clear.

Or at least until bedtime.

Ok, news flash over, back to the Tunnels of Time.