All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.
The Archives are (as some people know without being told)
the most important part of Bitsnbobs. Nothing would possibly be done at any
time without the acquiescence of the ‘delightful’ Mrs Penny- unless of course she
is eating pie at the time, in which case nothing will be done and you will just
have to wait.
She likes her pie.
That said, it’s a glorious place with sublime and
shining examples of mislaid thought caused by how-to-do-it hesitation.
If you enter with a sense of delicate perception, tact
(always useful in dealing with Mrs Penny) and genuine (if not genius) respect
you will discover much to help you rise over the top of the darkest depths of
inspiration. (Which reminds me that Batman Rises is due for release in 6 days!)
The Archives (the archives that go beyond beyond!)
have something to do with everything, nothing to do with never and everything to
do with anything else.
Is that clear?
What I mean is that Archives go to the back of beyond
and I am trying my best – not easy – to bring some of that back and put it here
in the daylight.
But don’t get me wrong; The Archives are well lit –
sometimes mechanically in a Dickensian way, sometimes through state of the art
natural process. It’s just that sometimes stuff gets missed.
Not just stuff either.
Numbers of people have got lost in here - I’m hoping
it will happen to me – some of the secretaries are cute and the reputation of
the cooking is legion.
Why would I want to reappear in the light of day when
I can trade it for the excitement of the Archived night?
Yes The Archives are open during the day- and there is
much to see – but they really come alive in the evening and there are many
sections that can only be found by full moonlight.
These are known by habitués as the Hidden Moons, and
they number 13 – though only half have been discovered as of date.
Many years ago The Archives were attacked by the angry
and suspicious people of the nearby village of Umloc forcing a move to the
present location in the lost caves.
These were distressing times for Mrs Penny
and frankly speaking she put on a lot of weight and we feared for her sanity.
It was shortly after that a wealthy and farsighted
benefactor left Bundle, a dog, among the newspaper clippings of the fourth
floor. It took him several days to eat his way through them by which time Mrs
Penny had found him, saved what remained, fell in love and named Bundle her
assistant in permanence.
There was some initial objection from the Trustees but
acceptance was voted in at the AGM by an accommodating majority.
Much of The Archive’s subsequent resurrection- along
with Mrs Penny’s – is down to the dog.
This is the only other known photo of Bundle.
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