A wife, a hammock and a dog.

At the weekend I sent an e-mail to my ex-wife; we haven’t communicated in any form during the last sixteen years or so, before that very rarely and although I don’t think there remains any animosity between us I suspect that my e-mail surprised her.

I labelled it “out-of-the–blue” to acknowledge that I was aware that this might be so, and then after a quick “hello it’s me” I went on to outline the purpose of this sudden reappearance.

In fact the “hello it’s me” was VERY quick as I really didn’t know what to say to help her place me – so I settled for “your ex ex”; I knew there had been at least one other who didn’t stay the course after me, and I thought that the double “ex” had a nice “even those days are gone” ring about it.

Talking of rings, another friend called me the other night and told me that HER ex – an ex that had dumped her unceremoniously and left her pretty much in the shit – had been in contact because he wanted to recommend that she get the same telephone as him.

And she had thought this normal enough to get the telephone.

I thought this was weird.

I told her so.

I even suggested that British telecom could recommend just as many telephones without any hidden agendas and that she should disconnect immediately.

But I was a tad drunk at the time, so she ignored me.

My ex- wife ignored me too, which is a real shame, as I needed to know which edition of The Peoples Guide to Mexico we had bought together thirty-seven years ago.

I needed the information because I wanted to tell you about a dog I met whilst I was running on Monday.

I wanted to check the source of a reference to hammocks and to do that I was considering bidding for a copy of the fourth edition of the People’s Guide To Mexico that I had found on E-Bay.

I guess I could have made it all up – but I like to instil a sense of integrity here on Bitsnbobs.

I figured that she may still have the copy on her bookshelves, the only thing I had ever known her to throw away was me (I) - and I was hoping she would have a quick look and email me back.

She didn’t.

She probably thought I was being as creepy as I thought telephone-guy was.

More about the dog and the hammock another day