Tuesday 15 November 2011

Melissa.


I’m pretty sure, though it never happens to me, that someone, somewhere, turns to someone else (probably in the same place) and says – “how do you come up with ideas about what to write on your blog?”

With me it’s just – “WHY do you bother?”

But, if someone is interested in the HOW, then the answer is – Mrs Melissa Smith.

Mrs Melissa smith is not exactly a muse, but for the blogger or blogerette trying to finish the day’s e-mails, cook dinner, write a report and come up with a pertinent post for the morrow she is a godsend.

Though how god got to pay the postage I’m not sure.

Probably sent the son.

Mrs Melissa Smith wrote to me only yesterday – she’s a real doll! Here is what she said.

Hello, (nice informal tone)

Compliment of the day to you, (that’s nice eh?) I am Mrs. Melissa Smith a Widow, British Citizen based in Moscow, Russia. (Though your English isn’t really up to citizen standard is it?)

I was recently diagnosed of having (see?) Terminal Cancer with only weeks to live, i hereby bequeath to you my 20 Million Pounds to set up a Charity Organization to help people in need. (cool – I may not be the most worthy, but I AM in need and I can see how to spend 10 million right of the bat)

Please respond so i can have my Lawyer/Solicitor contact you with further details to receive this inheritance.

Yours Sincerely.
Mrs. Melissa Smith.
Moscow, Russia. (nice formal finish)

I don't have a lawyer at the moment so i sent her the phone number of that man who keeps ringing me up at tea time trying to sell me double glazing.

7 comments:

Anne Hodgson said...

Well, it's quite an offer you can't refuse. - Have you seen this priceless jewel:
My Dear,
I am sorry for bouncing into your privacy. You might not know the sender of this mail. But i got your E-mail when searching files on reputable people online. Let me start by introducing myself. Here writes, Mrs. Amanda Jane Bishop (Phd.Msc,Fsd). I was married to Engineer Welshman Bishop an Englishman who is dead. When my late husband w...as alive he deposited the sum of £5,300,000.00 GBP (Five Million Three Hundred Thousand Great Britain Pounds Sterling ) which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with a security company here in Europe., Presently, this money is still with the online bank.

My Doctors told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from at the moment. I have decided to donate this fund to you and entitled to keep 7.3% of the funds and I want you to use this gift which comes from my Husband effort to fund the upkeeps of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the online bank in Europe. I will also issue you a Letter of Authority and give you the Last Will of Testament that will empower you as the original beneficiary of this fund. My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all
through your life. Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein.

Hope to hear from you soon and God bless you and members of your family. You are to contact me with my most private email address: amandajaneb26@yahoo.co.uk
Thanks
Madam Amanda Jane
...
Found through Patrick Jackson. Engineer Welshman Bishop an Englishman was genuinely handicapped identity-wise.

popps said...

Do u think there's a market for a coffee table collection?

Anne Hodgson said...

Well, for a blog perhaps. Want to open a new one?

Anne Hodgson said...

Ha! I found two German ones: http://www.spamblog.de/
http://www.schlachthaus.info/
Any in English?

popps said...

i don't know

but i was thinking of answering this one which came today- what do you think?

"Hey hey. I live in the same city as you. I am lovely and wonderful.
http://migre.me/64SRl See my photos."

Vicki said...

I think you should forward it to Melissa. It looks like she might appreciate a lovely and wonderful new friend.

popps said...

I was saving it for the next Cold Caller i get.