Tommy - off stage.

I’d like you to meet Tommy.

Tommy is a dog, clearly.

Tommy went to the Isles of Scilly this summer, much like me and stayed, slept and did dog type stuff in the tent next to mine.

Tommy normally lives in Birmingham and Andalucía; he has his own passport – much like me.

I got on well with Tommy, he understood.

And we share many of the same passions – jumping in water (though he prefers puddles); running; having our stomachs rubbed and sniffing things.

If I had a tai,l I too would wag.

Despite being a dog and therefore so linguistically close, I don’t think Tommy believes in God.

I would be surprised if either of his companions in the next tent do either, though you never know.

If they don’t then Tommy is safe from what I learn today is known amongst devout believers as – The Rapture.

Apparently not just a favourite word of Van Morrison in his songs, The Rapture is – and I quote that all seeing being in the sky Wikipedia – “In some modern traditions of Christian eschatology, the Rapture is a reference to "being caught up" referred to in 1 Thess 4:17, when, in the End Times, the Christians of the world will be gathered together in the air to meet Jesus Christ.[1] Rapture is used in at least two senses, in the sense of pre-tribulation views in which a group of people will be "left behind" and as a synonym for the Resurrection generally.”

Which means that, if I am right about Tom and Maureen, THEY will be left behind and Tommy will thus still have someone around to tickle his tum.

According to what I read in the paper though some four legged friends will suddenly be alone and for this reason a man called Bart Centre in America has started a company that will guarantee to look after your pet for you once you have been raptured away, if it happens.

He charges 135 dollars for 10 years peace of mind and has a team of assistants in different states – all who have officially committed blasphemy to ensure that they are left behind if a rapture ensues – who will turn up within 24 hours to look after fido.

I’m not making this up.

Here’s his website - http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

Anyway – it turns out that 250 people have signed up, which my brain reckons to be about two hundred thousand dollars.

Is that right? Hang on… no twenty thousand.

Still, not bad eh?

I could do with some cash like that, so I’m thinking of starting the European service.

Then I would buy a painting like this.

who is this amazing artist and where can i buy their work?