Seasonal Dilemmas (part two)

A Lesson Plan (for disaster)

It's too cold to sit outside and it's too warm to go in.

Another seasonal dilemma! (See yesterdays post)

In fact, having just written that I realize that it is just my head that’s perturbed so I’ll go and get a hat, hang on……

There, that’s better, though now that my head is cozy my ankles are complaining, wait…. Ok, sorted - one of the cats just came and lay on them.

Hairy ankles, but - warm and hairy.

In fact they are hairy without the cat too – unlike my head, which, isn’t.

It isn’t so much, that the other day Krissie, bless her, when asked what she was going to do with the handful of cat hair she was walking around with having collected it from the sofa, replied – “Put it on your head.”

You can always trust your nearest and dearest to give it to you straight.

Anyway, I was hoping to start writing and sort of drift into something topical, useful or illuminating but so far - nothing.

Sorry.

It’s the kind of way I approach things here on bitsnbobs.

It could have been something like this - cold outside; hat; ankles; cats (little aside on wife) cat hair; fish.

Fish?

Yes, you know - cats like fish?

Ah, ok -fish.

Traditionally April 1st, yesterday, in France – although it was probably April 1st in a lot of other places too - is the day you get to stick a fish on someone’s back.

A few years ago I accepted the job of teaching English in a local primary school.

I would arrive, the resident teacher would look relieved and disappear and for the next 45 minutes I was left on my own.

The school was, and still is, in a beautiful little village and the class, in fact the whole school, were 10 children aged from 4 to 10, all wearing slippers and if it hadn’t been for Kevin they would have been the sweetest bunch you could imagine.

We had been working together on colours and the week before we had learnt together a little song with the exciting lyrics; “red and yellow, pink and green, pink and green, pink and green, red and yellow, pink and green, purple, orange, brown."

The tune was really good.

The week before we had learnt – 'It’s a…/What’s this?' There was no point in rushing things.

So one April 1st I walked in, the teacher smiled and slipped out, I put my bag down and Kevin hit Alba.

I gave him ‘the look’.

I held up a paper fish, carefully prepared the night before, complete with seven thick stripes across the body.

‘It’s a fish …. Fish….. What’s this?’

“It’s a fish!’- All the others.

‘Fsh’ – Kevin.

So far, so good, and I gave each child a carefully prepared paper fish, but only after they individually answered my question –“What’s this?”

Then, careful not to turn my back, I drew a big fish on the board, added the stripes, and asked once again “what’s this?”
KEVIN!! – “what’s this?”

And then I pointed at the first stripe – “It’s red.” And they started colouring.

“RED, Kevin!” “RED!!”

Then we continued – ‘It’s yellow” etc etc.,

I checked, I solicited responses, I made mistakes – “It’s yellow” pointing at the Red – “No, It’s red!”

Then I gave then each a piece of sellotape and in slow motion, to make sure they got the message, I walked to the front and very, very slowly turned my back.

Kevin led the charge.

The teacher stormed in – “What’s going on in here!!?”



I teach adults now.