If you read this blog regularly then you will know that yesterday I cleared the kitchen table. If you are not a regular reader - well, hey I just told you so you are completely up to date.

My mother, bless her, was full of little dictums or homilies that she would occasionally trot out.…… well not exactly, full, but she had four.

1. You can’t please everyone so make damm sure you please yourself.
2. All the worlds strange, except you and me, and even you‘s a bit weird.
3. If you only have a sandwich for lunch and you wanted something hot, then put some mustard on it.
4. A place for everything and everything in its place.

Ok, number three is a bit off the wall - I think she came from a past where hot food was considered a luxury, but I think you’ll agree that number four is excellent advice for someone trying to clear a kitchen table groaning under the residue forgetfulness of a disorganised family such as mine.

I started at the end , worked methodically and found somewhere to put EVERYTHING, except the pot of Magnesium tablets, which nobody is honest enough to admit to using.

I kept the secret message decoder that came free in a packet of breakfast cereal for myself – you never know when you might need such a thing.

Anyway, to cut a long story short - at the bottom of this pile of absentmindedly abandoned paraphernalia I discovered a guide to “What is On” in the local area during October.

Among the invitations to collect and squeeze apples once again in the communal apple juice bonanza event (more about this soon), learn yoga and discuss with other parents the philosophical aspects of anger (the French love to natter) there was this (see photo above) announcement inviting everybody to come to the Forest in the late evening to experience the thrill of hearing the primeval sounds of the Stags rutting, and of course to eat together afterwards.

Only to make sure, that on this occasion, you wear no perfume.

You would have thought that living in France, home of Channel no 5, the Deer would be used to it.