Tuesday, 18 August 2009

Fire!


I teach English for a private company based in Toulouse.

The office is relaxed but serious and run to a high professional standard - but you can wear flip-flops.

That reminds me of a very old joke; “What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Phillipe Phloppe”.

Is that racist? Or just anti-sandal?

I can’t tell anymore. It seems to me that it is making fun of something – French Pronunciation maybe. Is that the same as making fun of someone’s race?

I never wear flip-flops to work though. In fact, I never wear flip-flops – they hurt your toes, destroy your instep and … well …flip and flop about too much.

Sandals, I like, and always wear them in an extended summer period.

The woman who used to own the company told me that her father had said “Never trust a man who wears sandals”.
I think she told me this as an indication that she thought it was ok.

As an exuberant Lesbian she had a few issues with what her father had said and it probably partly explained her being in France and him being in New Zealand.

Apart from the sandals I dress up for work, smart casual sort of thing. Even when the temperature hits the forties I won’t wear shorts in the office.

I might if I was the boss, but I don’t teach so well when I’m in shorts, I get distracted by my knees.

Have you ever done that? While you’re driving to look down at your knees? Weird.

I have an electric razor that I keep in the car. But it’s not for my knees.

It remains there ready for the days I forget to shave before leaving the house on the way to work. It’s an emergency morning repair kit.

I also have a teenage son.

His beard is making it’s first tentative attempts to colonise his chin, and yesterday as I drove him into town to meet his girlfriend he took the razor from its secret location and innocently asked; “Can I use this?”

Foolishly I said yes.

This morning I left for work a little late and forgetful; racing along the empty roads I reached for the shaver and started attacking the stubble.

The battery ran out as I had completed one half - the left side - of my face. I was a teenager’s chin short of power.
I looked like the rock singer Crazy Arthur Brown on a bad day.

No one actually LAUGHED as I walked into the office although the secretary asked if I was all right, and since everyone else working here is female there was no one prepared to lend me a razor.

Usually I count myself as really lucky to be the only male in the place but today a little brotherly blade sharing would have been fine.

I had five minutes before the lesson to do something – too short a time to go to the shops, but probably just enough to prepare a face saving lesson.

I could sit in profile for an hour and a half, but that would break the first rule of matching body language with the client. I could probably just about cover most of the damage with a thoughtful hand stroking chin gesture but for 90 minutes?

The girls are sure to have mascara, maybe a paint job?

Or You Tube?

I sat down with the client and before their shock could fully register in their eyes I announced.

“OK, what do you know about the Crazy World of Arthur Brown?”

8 comments:

Janet Bianchini said...

What happened with the "Fire!"?

vicki said...

Ha! I was thinking this is going to be a lesson that started 'so what do you notice that's different today?', but you jumped right in with Arthur Brown!

What's next week's lesson plan? How about face painting.

popps said...

Hi Vicki, i was probably too nervous, i should have had more lead in. The next time, i'm sure there will be, i'll be more prepared.

popps said...

Hi Janet.
Fire?
The blog title was meant to be the opening line of Arthur Brown's big hit, or did you mean the fire of the previous days post?

Janet Bianchini said...

Hi popps
I have no idea about "Arthur Brown's big hit". Please do reveal more!

popps said...

Janet
All will be revealed here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8&fmt=18

Janet Bianchini said...

Thank you for the revelation. I knew the song as soon as I heard it but had never heard of Arthur Brown!

Did you do the hyperlink to YouTube in the same way you explained previously? It's very clever!

popps said...

yes i did, but i'm not sure that it's clever, it took me three years to learn how to do that and only then by pestering another blogger!