It has been hot enough to sleep outside – so I have.
The birds wake me from slumber as the rising sun pierces the trees and the browsing deer depart.
I had to travel to the big city to work so I stumbled bleary eyed into the bathroom and started to shave, a slight movement from behind reflected in the mirror alerted my sleepy body.
There is something “primevil” and predatory about the way a giant grasshopper slowly creeps across your pyjamas towards your exposed, vulnerable neck that rational and clear thinking is unable to accept, and remember i recently saw the Harry Potter Film.
The magnification of the shaving mirror did nothing to lessen the rising tide of uncontrollable panic.
The grasshopper stayed with me as I hurtled from the house, my screams strangled to a hissed eeeeeeeeeeeee and my arms flapping like propellers.
The first touch of it’s incredibly hairy leg forced me to use the flapping motion to remove the pyjama top, the eeeeeeeeee became a primordial aaaahhhhhhhhhHHH and I picked up the watering can, handily left from last night, and doused myself in water.
It was at this moment that the man from the water authority drove up.
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