Saturday, 10 September 2011

Off-The Shelf 2.

A help yourself shelf – subject of a sort-of photo project I embarked upon on a campsite in the isles of Scilly one blue and balmy summer (August) – can tell you a lot about people.

Least, that’s what I think.

In fact, I would go further.

I reckon that the secret of life the universe and everything could be explained by the contents of this aforementioned help your self shelf – if only I could decipher the signs.

I might have failed.

BUT I did learn a few things.

1. Everyone needs washing up liquid.
In fact, in my life - short or long depending from which point we are counting – I have only met one person who didn’t use the stuff. They preferred a system of hot water. I don’t know if they still (don’t use it) as we lost touch. Our friendship drained away like the running water.

2. You won’t need to take salt with you on a camping trip. (As long as there is a help yourself shelf)

3. Some people read crap books.

4. Some people publish crap books.

5. There is a lot of competition on a campsite for the contents of the help your-self shelf.
Nine o’clock in the morning is a peak time, as everyone is washing-up and the help you-self shelf was in the same place.

6.NEVER put your washing up – plates, spoons etc on the help your-self shelf to liberate space whilst you are washing up.

7. What is once-helped away is gone forever.

8. No is no such thing as forever – soya sauce on the help your-self shelf one week, will be back there, slightly diminished in quantity, five days later.

9. Despite the riches on offer there will always be something that resolutely remains.

10. At this point someone will say to you, as you take a photo for your photo project (sort of) – “That Malt Vinegar is beginning to annoy me.”

Who needs malt-vinegar on a camp site?

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